Two weeks

I can't get this off my mind tonight, so I figured I'd blog.I have been taking care of a man for the past four years. I started working for him when he was 99 years old. I didn't think the job would last long (for obvious reasons).But it has lasted long enough for me to become attached to him.The sun is now setting on his long & wonderful life,but no matter how I play it out in my head it still sucks. Mr.B would be 103 on July 30,but the Dr. sez that's not gonna happen.(Heart cracks a bit).This man has lived 102 YEARS.He founded the Boys & Girls club in the town where he lives.He is STILL a member of the Rotary Club, was a founder of not 1 but 2 local banks. He owned the Coca-Cola companies in the state we live in.He gave generously to over 100 charity's faithfully.A man who attended church every Sunday, and when he got to where he couldn't get around as well, watched sermons on TV.(Heart cracks a bit more).A man with a very dry sense of humor,but when he did find something to be funny, his laughter was enchanting.He never wanted anyone to wait on him,even up until 2 weeks ago when he started getting sick,he got around with a walker,got up for his own glass of water,bathed him self..he did everything.2 weeks ago he could carry on a conversation just like you or I can. 2 weeks.His mind went quickly.He no longer knows who I am, nor his family.Maybe that's God's way of letting him keep his pride during the humiliation of dying.(Heart now breaks).I don't think I will take on anymore patients once he passes. I have been through this before & it never gets easier.He asked me once if I thought God forgot about him. No,kind man,he didn't forget about you.God knew there were people who needed & loved you, and THEY will never forget about you.Im off tonight,but still I dread hearing the phone ring in the middle of the night. I know it's totally selfish, but I want to be there with him when he closes those Blue eyes for the last time.I want to run my hand across his forehead into his silver hair & let him know it's ok to go.It's ok to meet his wife(she's waiting with loving arms),it's ok to leave the weak,selfish ones like me behind.Im sad because I will miss him so much, but I can't even think of depriving him of the rest he has so gallantly earned.I will miss you my friend. But it's ok to go.