Northwest Airlines Flight 253

United States #FAIL. If it was not for the fact that the explosive device that was ignited, did not detonate as planned,we would be burying another plane full of innocent people.Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab, 23, a native of Nigeria was on the terrorist "watch" list but Not on the do not fly list.Excuse me, but wtf put someone on such a list if it virtually means nothing.Im furious that he was not body searched. Im furious that the only reason people are alive is because passengers took action.We are no safer now, with "Homeland security" then we were w/o it. Little old ladies from Florida are searched better than this Asshat was.Close your eyes and imagine the newspapers headlines had the bomb exploded instead of causing a fire.The day AFTER, they boast about security being heightened. It was a holiday with many planes flying, what the hell?#FAIL #FAIL #FAIL

"Chairity"

The word charity totally makes me come unglued. Just because someone has fallen on hard times is no reason they should have to eat macaroni & cheese,peanut butter,canned veggies etc.. you get the picture.I have friends, several right now that are in bad shape for various reasons.I am lending a hand where & when i can. Sometimes i dont have it to give.But it outrages me that they feel badly to accept help. That is what friends DO.I do not "do" charity". I help friends.When & if i can. I do it for very selfish reasons. It makes me happy. Im blessed in my life, and was always taught from childhood to SHARE.I don't care who you are in life, if you have, you need to put it out there. It's the only way you will CONTINUE to "have".If you have not learned this by now, you will not learn it from my words.The rule I have always lived by, treat others as you want to be treated. I can never in my life recall wanting to be treated with piety,sympathy,or like a "charity" case.I know this is a bit of a rant & probably be called the "roid" journals for awhile. I apologize. But this is something that has been on my mind..it is now off it.<3

If ur gonna ride my ass,at least pull my hair

On my way home from work tonight, it was so foggy you couldn't see the lines on the road. I go home on a unlit country road that at this time of year the Deer run rampant,I grazed one about a month ago.No damage to SUV, but there was a tuft of hair and a small bit of blood.But I digress, there was one lone jackass on the road & he thought just because he was following MY taillights so closely,the vision ahead must be just dandy.Twas NOT.Mind you im on 80 mg of steroids (still) & at this point I could become a bit of a jackass too.I was doing 45 mph which under the circumstances was more than enough.So no Mr.(or Mrs.) "i wanna see what kind of gun u carry"(it's a Bersa 380 Thunder) Turn their high beam lights on me.(and get closer still) Mind you again, i STILL have tubes in my chest & don't need to be fist fighting on an empty stretch of road.I could bleed out in a Nano second.So i do the next best thing, i call my daughter & tell her to not answer my next call. I called her phone and SCREAMED at her voice mail. It may have saved a life.High beams are now FLASHING on & off at me.Finally Mr. or Mrs. jackass decide to turn off. Concord NC has the worst & most dangerous drivers around. Even on a good day, this road is 55mph and they either do 35 or 75, pick yer poison.They ride your ass,pass on a solid line,cut you off,don't use turn signals (redneck vehicles are not standard with them)or just plain run into you.So you dumb bastards who were on my ass tonight, you better be damn happy i was not roid raging, you got me close to it, but my life is going so well right now,even you couldn't screw it up.Be thankful i love my family,have a gentler heart than i did even a short month ago,and no i was not carring my evil twin "roxanne" (the 380). Go to church Sunday,donate to charity,or just do something nice for someone. You have NO idea how badly tonight could have turned out over you being so ignorant.

Just had to say this

All of us,no matter who we are, have a cross to bear at one time or another in our lives. I used to be flippant as hell as far as taking things seriously. dont get me wrong, i took my duties as a mother serious as hell, these are my lifes work, my purpose for living.My kids, or my love for them kept me from doing alot of stupid things, including giving up when that would have been the easiest road to take. Last week I had a very near death experience that most of my twitter friends know about. they all rallied to my side with kind words, prayers,thoughts & various other forms of affection. They have NO idea how wonderful it was to see such an outpouring of love from virtual strangers. We chat all the time. we share sorrows, joys, news, good things,bad things, really personal things. but we share. Of course there are the few dysfunctional's that cant get along with anyone..we reach out to them too. but the thing that stands out most in my mind is the fact that we all come to chat for a reason. twitter was ment to be 1 question: what are you doing? but it has evolved into a support system for a lot of people that genuinely CARE about what you are doing. When total strangers get to know each other as well as some of us on here have, theres a reason for it. most of the people i chat with have my phone# and i have theirs. the world is a hurting place right now. a lot of people are falling on hard times. and while their are those that relish in the failures of others, the ones i know do not. So i want to say openly, if we are friends, and you are hurting, I AM here for you. even if it's just to rant, cry, or share something YOU need to say. People are put on this earth to help each other. so often we get wraped up in our own little disasters we forget other people are hurting too. reach out to someone, make a damn difference. your world will be a better place for it.

Why people cheat

If you have ever had to lie to your mate about where your going, where you've been, whether you've had a drink, a joint, masturbate,or anything else, you are probably a candidate for cheating.In this life we meet all kinds of people. We get into relationships & commitments for varied reasons. Sometimes it's with absolute good intentions,but after the first 6-9 months boredom slips in, the mundane everyday tasks of paying bills, arguing over stupid things that don't matter, endearing qualities that have now become annoying nails on the proverbial blackboard. But instead of owning up to the fact that the two are just not compatible, they keep up the front for friends & family. women are desperate to land Mr. right, men want the Barbie doll that makes their friends drool. Im not saying that marriage & monogamy are impossible,I have been married 3 times & NEVER cheated. I was was once so in love that I never even noticed a hot guy walking past me. Do you know how intoxicating it is to have a fantasy, and your actually in love the person your fantasizing about? (and he loves you too?) Pride, ego, insecurity..these are all factors in cheating. Men worry about the ability to still "score". that is his womans fault. If you make your man feel like the god of fuck that he IS to you, he won't stray. If you belittle him in front of his friends, your opening the door for it. men & women lie & hide things from each other. afraid of what the other would think if they truly knew what their secret sexual desires were. Communication is KEY. If you like something TELL him, ask him what HIS biggest fantasy is, you may be surprised to find it isn't the old 2 girls in bed thing as most men did that shit in their college days.As a woman, have you ever grabbed your man by the shirt collar and thrown him down on the bed? Have you ever climbed into the shower with him while his face was soapy,eyes closed & just got down on your knees? Have you ever pulled a mans backbone out(sexually) thats how mine described what i did to him. Cheating is the single most horrible thing you can do to a person. It is humiliating,degrading,lonley & destroying. some couples do recover from it, but usually down the road the marriage/relationship ends,because it never really goes away.Do not stay with someone just because it's easier than leaving. do not get with someone because you think you can change them. you can't.If your an average looking male, forget the Barbie doll, shes more into her self than she will ever be into you. Opposites attract? eh, sometimes, but that won't last either.HONESTY attracts. being able to hold a conversation attracts. I firmly believe sex starts by fucking the mind,love starts by caressing the heart,and if your ever lucky enough to find the mate with whom you can FUCK & MAKE LOVE to at the same time, there will be no cheating. I don't care if there are kids involved, that's not an excuse to stay in a weak relationship. do your kids a favor, split, remain friends & show them that adults can still care even if they cant coincide. before you jump into the sack with someone, have the conversations, be truthful. Im a 52 year old great grandmother with the sex drive of an 18 year old boy on crack. I have never had the "headache" in fact...sex will relieve the headache, it also gets rid of menstrual cramps. If your a woman, and you don't like going down on a man, you had better let that little bomb out up front. He deserves to know. If you are a woman, and the man you desire is a player, womanizer or just plain slut puppy, then your for warned, he most likey isn't going to change for you. Men , if shes flirty, winks at your friends while your back is turned or spends more time worring about herself than you & her together, you have also been warned. some people find the perfect match once in their lives. some never find it. Have enough sense to know when it's not the real deal. also have enough sense to know if it IS the real thing, never take it for granted. Keep it alive, nourish it. Climb on top of his back one night with a bottle of baby oil & just slide all over him. do things he does expect from sweet lil ol you. If this seems like to much work for you, then yeah, you'll probably find HER # tucked away somewhere. Cheating is not just the fault of the one committing the initial act, if you have let yourself go, if you have forgot about his/her needs, if you take for granted for one single minute that they will always be there, your setting your self up for the fall. Cheating is a selfish act, that comes from many selfish acts, lonliness,boredom etc..it is a subject that the two people involved have to sort out if thats even possible. I do not think it should be held up for public ridicule, that won't solve anything. Jerry Hall used to make Mick Jagger buy her jewelery every time he got caught, she settled for that, right up until he knocked up the lil babe in Argentina..then she got pissed and left him. they played their own game..it failed. If you love you mate, be kind, be good, be true, be a slut in the bed room, a lady in the parlor & a chef in the kitchen, but above all, be there for him. He may not be perfect, but as humans none of us are. learn to forgive willingly,kiss deeply,know when to fuck his brains out & know when to cuddle like kids. Peace.

Family

I dont know if it's because it's the holidaze, or because i just had a very near death experience, but i have changed. No im still the gothic queen i enjoy so much,but things in my mind and heart have changed. I have forgiveness for people that have done me wrong. I have love for strangers that have it worse than i do. I have compassion for people that i never thought i would. I am perhaps a kinder, gentler version of my former self. I let my kids know every day how much they mean to me. I have been in touch with cousins & family members that i have not sent an actual letter to in years (e-mail is so impersonal) Sunrises make me smile, sunsets soothe my soul. music sounds richer,deeper,more meaningful.People on twitter can't piss me off. ok perhaps a wee bit, but thats the steroids..that will pass as they lower the dosages. The home is decorated for Christmas,lights are up, the smell of cinnamon is every where. the tree is decorated (purple lights & black velvet balls & some purple glass balls..a bit gothic but like i said, thats not changing) I feel alive! I feel love again. I will not let one single person i care about go one minute with out them knowing how dear they are to me. I wish everyone could feel this! Happy holidays to all my friends..