It's been awhile since I have felt like writing anything. I have a book in progress,nothing written in months. It's funny how the things that happen in other peoples lives effect our own.Im trying really hard to get back into the "creative" mode, but with an emotional vampire by my side,that's hard to do. His depression becomes MY depression. His apathy towards life bleeds into my joy for life.It really isn't fair. This has been going on for a very long time. The obvious solution would be to walk out. Easier said than done. If I walk, he has no way to support himself.No way to get to or from a job (as if he were even looking). I suppose when you take Vows,you better be DAMN sure you understand the ramifications of "for better or worse". In the State where I reside, Alcoholism is a valid reason for filing for divorce. BUT divorce leaves him privy to HALF of what I have worked for over the past 13 years.BULLSHIT.I stand at the crossroads of my "materialism" & peace of mind.To understand abuse isn't just about being punched in the face, it's also about someone mis-treating you on a day to day basis.Mind games are abuse.Lack of intimacy is abuse.Letting someone else control you with their anger..ABUSE. I don't like confrontation,especially when I know im right. From now on, my blog will be a sort of diary of letting go.Step by step I will navigate my way out of this.If your reading this & you too are stuck in marital purgatory,perhaps my actions will inspire you to make the tough choices & do whats best for you & your family.I have the support of friends & family,Im the one that has to deal with his temper tantrums,his denial's,his depression..etc... I will keep you informed.Step by step.Peace my friends.
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